1) There will be no announcements from the stage, flyers, or other promotions allowed for gigs that you have outside of Club Lauterbach's if they occur on a night when we have music here. We are giving you a place to play as well as providing a facility for getting you paid, and the least you can do is not compete with us while you are here. Anyone making an announcement, handing out flyers, etc., without permission of Alice or Tex will have all future dates cancelled. We are running a business here, and will not permit competition on these premises.

2) You may not bring soft drinks, beer, brown bag items or bottled water into Club Lauterbach's. Again, we are a business, and all of these items are readily available here. This also applies to the people who come to see you.

3) There will be no drug use within the confines of the club. Anyone caught smoking or snorting in the bathroom wall be ejected without discussion. If you want to smoke, you can do it outside, at your own risk.

4) Excessive swearing or obscenity on stage will not be tolerated. We appreciate artistic license as much as anybody else, but we have no desire to listen to a torrent of invective which has no real reason behind it. We are not out to fire somebody who says "oh, shit" when he breaks a string, but if you have a song that's ninety percent four-letter words, you should not be singing it here.

5) If you bring friends, you are responsible for their behavior. We will not tolerate fighting or brawling of any kind. We want everybody to be able to have a nice time and enjoy the music, and it's up to you to make sure that your audience behaves in a civilized fashion.

6) Destruction of club property will not be tolerated. Don't bang walls, throw mikes, or try to knock the disco ball off the ceiling. We give you a place to play, don't mess around with it.

7) If you play rock 'n roll, acoustic music, or even open mike, remember that Alice and Tex are your bosses, and expect to be treated this way at all times. When you are here, music is your job, and we demand the same kind of respect you give your boss at your day job.

8) A final note to some real idiots: Don't ever try to play Tex and Alice against each other. We are of one mind at all times, and consult with each other frequently in the course of each evening. An order from either one of us is to be considered as written in stone, and we will not go over each other's head.

We regret the fact that we have to lay down the law, but there are always some jerks who make it necessary. We hope that you will continue to enjoy the atmosphere of friendship and trust that prevails at Lauterbach's and that our music will continue to flourish here.

Texas Leroy and Alice Lauterbach